Man Utd ‘Rush’ into a deal, Arsenal land Messi’s Pepsi twin, Newcastle’s Goal dream ends

The January transfer window is now a week old and it’s all been rather underwhelming so far, hasn’t it?

Liverpool’s move for World Cup star Cody Gakpo was completed before the window even opened and Chelsea’s bid to sign as many Football Manager ‘wonderkids’ as possible continued with a deal for Molde forward David Datro Fofana and Monaco defender Benoit Badiashile.

But business has been quiet as we rapidly approach the midway point of a transfer window managers will tell anyone willing to listen is notoriously difficult to conduct deals. So could things ‘hot up’ as the month continues?

Red Devils in a ‘Rush’ for new striker

Manchester United are said to be closing in on a surprise deal to sign Burnley striker Wout Weghorst.

It’s safe to say the Dutch striker did not enjoy the greatest of times after moving to Turf Moor in a £13m deal from Wolfsburg last January. A return of two goals in 20 appearances was not enough to keep the Clarets in the Premier League. Weghorst was shipped out on loan to Besiktas in the aftermath of the relegation and his form in Turkey - and an eye-catching cameo at the World Cup with Holland - has reported caught the attention of the 13-time Premier League champions.

The Red Devils are said to be in talks with Burnley and Besiktas in a bid to secure a loan deal for the striker - but admiration for Weghorst within the walls at Old Trafford seems to precede his abysmal stint at Turf Moor and his wonderfully surprising impact in Qatar.

Speaking ahead of a meeting with Burnley, former Red Devils interim manager Ralf Rangnick said: “He (Weghorst) looks with his size, a little bit like Ian Rush, for example, but he’s a very technical player. Due to his size, he is also physically present but he’s not that much of a physical target striker. He is more of a technical player.

“Also, he had good times at Wolfsburg when Oliver Glasner was head coach, he did extremely well and scored quite a few goals. I thought he was a good signing and one of the best possible signings to replace (Chris) Wood.”

And people said Rangnick made little impact during his time at the club!

Arsenal complete shock move for Messi and Aguero...in a way.

Ok, not really! We should apologise to any Gunners fans that thought Mikel Arteta had boosted his bid for the Premier League title with a move for the man many consider to be the greatest player of all-time…or not as good as Pele to others.

No, The Athletic have reported the man Arteta has brought in is ‘attacking phase coach’ Hussein Isa, also known as the ‘Tekkers Guru’. A former Queens Park Rangers and Tottenham Hotspur academy player, Isa’s senior playing career took him to Barnet, Dartford, Cray Wanderers, Romford and Hashtag United.

The Messi (and Sergio Aguero) link comes because Isa has ‘stood-in’ for the Argentinean duo during the recording of Pepsi adverts in recent years. He will begin his work with the likes of Bukayo Saka and Gabriel Jesus ahead of the 2023/24 Premier League season according to the report.

Goal: The Dream…ends!

It’s 18 years since Goal told the fictional story of how an unknown Mexican called Santiago Munez inexplicably caught the eye of a Newcastle United scout in what was essentially a kickabout in the park in Los Angeles. The forward ended up earning a deal at St James Park after a trial period that consisted of some questionable performances, getting close with a local nurse and running into trouble with the club’s star striker…who wasn’t Alan Shearer, Craig Bellamy or Patrick Kluivert.

Using footage shot at Magpies fixtures entwined with scripted passages of play, the on-screen Magpies secured Champions League with a Laurent Rob…Munez free-kick against Liverpool on the final day of the season - but Munez’s near-namesake has been denied the chance to help the actual Magpies secure a place amongst the continent’s elite this season.

It’s 18 months since various media outlets told the actual story of how a little-known Mexican Santiago Munoz inexplicably caught the eye of Newcastle United recruitment staff playing for Santos Laguna. He signed an 18-month loan deal at St James Park, inadvertently becoming the final transfer of the Mike Ashley era.

After one goal and one assist in nine appearances for the Magpies Under-23s and a run-out for the first-team in a pre-season friendly earlier this year, Munoz has now returned to Santos Laguna to bring an end to a tale that probably won’t be in a cinema near you in the near future.