West Ham and Aston Villa’s crustacean conundrum amid Jose Mourinho’s rollercoaster ride

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All the latest Premier League transfer news, as Liverpool target a former Ajax prodigy and Aston Villa, West Ham and Everton target an Argentinian forward.

It isn’t easy, being one of the “other” clubs in the Premier League who aren’t absolutely drowning in money. Well, they are, of course, but it’s relative – West Ham have enough cash to go swimming in it, Scrooge McDuck style, but some of the other clubs could buy up the whole of Duckburg with the change they found between the seats on the sofa. God knows what they’d do with the place, just evict everyone and turn McDuck Manor into an AirBNB, I’d imagine, while setting the former residents to work on their money farms. That sounds like the kind of thing evil billionaires do when they aren’t desperately trying to be funny on social media or waffling on about crypto.

Anyway, while the Chelseas and Manchester Cities of the world play feudal lord with semi-aquatic anthropomorphised birdlife, the West Hams, Aston Villas and Evertons of the Premier League parish have to make do with feeding from the scraps left by those at the top table. Specifically, in this instance, Argentinian forward Joaquín Correa.

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Joaquín Correa, left, battles for the ball against Monza in Serie AJoaquín Correa, left, battles for the ball against Monza in Serie A
Joaquín Correa, left, battles for the ball against Monza in Serie A | Getty Images

Those who pay attention to Italian football may recall Correa as the versatile forward who did rather well with Lazio a few years back, but a move to Inter Milan has panned out rather less pleasantly, and on the rare occasions that he tentatively emerges from the bench like a shy hermit crab peeking out from under its ill-fitting shell, he tends to get roundly booed by his own fans.

So, much like a hermit crab, he’s looking to scuttle off to a new, more suitable seashell, and it sounds like the football gods have left quite a few prospective homes scattered around the metaphorical seabed, with all of the aforementioned teams keen on a €15m move, according to Sport Witness.

Another little footballing crustacean looking for a new challenge to get his pincers on is Bayern Munich midfielder Ryan Gravenberch. The 20 year-old Dutchman was considered something of a wonderkid when he was at Ajax, but a move to the German giants hasn’t really worked out as planned and he’s made just one start since moving to Munich last summer. And he was hauled off at half-time in that game.

He’s way off the boil and hasn’t registered a single league goal or assist in Bavaria, so naturally he’s now the kind of project player that, say, a struggling Premier League team with minimal chances of imminent Champions League football would be keen on. Enter Liverpool. And yes, this needlessly snarky quip would have worked better if they hadn’t suddenly perked up enough to batter a bedraggled Leeds United last night. Anyway, The Mirror are reporting that the Merseysiders have already agreed contractual terms with Gravenberch.

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Lastly for this fine Tuesday morning, the latest updates from the managerial merry-go-round, where Daniel Levy is playing the cheeky, ruddy-faced roustabout setting the machine in motion and cheerily waving the punters on board. The Telegraph reckon he’s set his sights firmly on Luis Enrique for the vacant managerial role at Tottenham Hotspur, while former fairground employee Antonio Conte is set to put down his metaphorical candy floss and have a crack at the calcio coconut shy that is AS Roma – that’s because incumbent José Mourinho is at the front of the queue to ride the Paris Saint-Germain rollercoaster after they inevitably dispense with another title-winning manager at the end of the season – The Mirror, again, have the supposed scoop.

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