The genius Chelsea and Wolves swap transfer deal that would be perfect for both clubs

Are you there, Todd? It's me, Jason. Todd, I know things haven't always been particularly harmonious between us. I realise that on occasion I have been critical of you - perhaps overly so - suggested that you don't have the faintest idea as to how to sustainably run a football club, that you spend money like a toddler with a winning lottery ticket and a hoarding disorder. For your part, I know you like to ignore me, almost as if you don't read my articles whatsoever

But Todd, I want to make amends. I want us to bury hatchets and look to brighter futures, together. With that in mind, Todd, I have an idea for you. I'll even let you have it for free, as a gesture of my reinvigorated goodwill. You see, I know that your Chelsea squad is lacking in certain areas, despite your exorbitant attempts at plugging said gaps. I also know that you are over-encumbered in other aspects, and that these burdens are stopping you from achieving your big shiny goals.

So, Todd, buddy, how about this for a proposal to set you on your way to prosperity? It's not a lot, admittedly, but it would be a start. Swap Armando Broja for Wolves full-back Rayan Ait-Nouri. If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense.

You see, it is no secret that Financial Fair Play is beginning to snap at your heels, Todd. Not in a particularly threatening or immediate way, but more like the sudden pang of doubt you feel when you can't remember whether you turned the iron off partway through a double feature at your local multiplex. It is lurking on the periphery like a cunning wolf, and you're going to have to be a touch more cautious from here on out.

To that end, frugality is your best friend, Todd. Think of Stamford Bridge like a sticky-floored provincial nightclub on the Saturday night after pay day - it's one in, one out. And Broja is befitting of the role of sacrificial lamb - his opportunities are scarce, his impact minimal. Would he truly be missed if he were to vanish into a Midlands ether? I think we both know the answer, Todd.

And then there's Ait-Nouri. I'm not sure if you've come across him before in that weighty Argos catalogue of up-and-coming footballers I know you like to flick through at random when deciding on your recruitment policy, but he's a handy little player; Algerian international, 22 years old, decent on the front foot and defensively solid. Let me tell you, Todd, I reckon he'd be a bit of an upgrade on that anthropomorphic cocker spaniel, Marc Cucurella, you've got kicking about the place at the moment.

Because you see, Toddles, that's the real stroke of unassuming genius (if I say so myself) here. It's a classic two birds, one stone situation, pal. Offload Broja while simultaneously bringing in a replacement for Cucurella, who you can then sell for an inflated fee to some clueless Saudi Pro League outfit or other, thus freeing up funds to go and get yourself one of those newfangled striker thingamajigs I hear you've been so desperately lusting after.

Hell, even Wolves get something out of it, because as you well know, Todd, we could all use a better centre forward every now and again. Sometimes it's just nice to do something nice, isn't it?

Anyways, got to dash, chief - need to write to John W. Henry and offer my condolences. At the very least, promise me you'll have a think about all of the above though, won't you? Give my regards to Marcus Bettinelli. Love ya.