Erik ten Hag has lost the plot - why Man Utd absolutely didn't deserve to win Chelsea clash

‘Unadulterated pandemonium’, Darren Fletcher called it, watching on stunned from the gantry. He wasn’t wrong. As the rain teemed down and the clock ticked over into the 101st minute at Stamford Bridge, it felt fitting that a wildly deflected pot shot should ultimately come to decide a fixture that was bereft of any kind of rationality or order.

In truth, the only hole you could pick in Fletch’s assessment is that he waited until so late in the day to make it. From the opening exchanges, when Conor Gallagher put the hosts ahead, Chelsea’s thrilling 4-3 victory over Manchester United on Thursday night was a textbook study in mayhem.

It was a clash that defied the petty confines of sensible reasoning; the Blues raced into a two-goal lead, their visitors somehow came back from the dead to edge ahead, and then a stoppage time brace from Cole Palmer simultaneously scuttled the Red Devils and wrapped up a scrappy hat-trick for the England international. Hell, in the biggest affront to logic of them all, even Antony did something useful. That trivela assist for Alejandro Garnacho’s second might just be a late contender for pass of the season.

And right there, amid the plot twists and the controlled explosions, was a perfect illustration of why United are failing to progress under Erik ten Hag. This wasn’t just a case of one bad result, or an injury time gut punch - albeit for the second outing in a row. Instead, this was damning proof that the Red Devils do not possess the consistency, the cunning, or the discipline to properly manage games or suffocate the spirit out of a trailing opposition.

No Premier League team - not the porous Sheffield United, the temperamental Brentford, the lacklustre Burnley - have allowed more shots on their goal since the beginning of 2024 than United. At the time of writing, according to the scurrying lab coats at Opta, the Red Devils have conceded 225. For the sake of a little context, Chelsea - anarchically generous as they are - have faced 63 fewer.

This summer, Sir Jim Ratcliffe will presumably unfurl his influence over United’s recruitment policy for the first time. If various reports are to be believed, then the centre of midfield and the heart of defence are among the areas which he and his minions will look to prioritise immediately. Observing Ten Hag’s side at present, you suspect that might be a wise strategy.

Its not that United don’t have a spine, its that the spine they do have is riddled with scoliosis. On Thursday, Casemiro muddled around the engine room like a hobbled horse, while not even the soft redemption arc of the Harry Magui-renaissance can paper over the lingering cracks in a disjointed back four. There are other concerns too, of course - a need to ease the burden on sole functioning striker Rasmus Hojlund and alternative options for the 364 days of the year when Antony doesn’t look like a professional footballer among them.

But whichever way you cut it, the long and the short of the situation is that something has got to give at Old Trafford. A club of this size cannot continue in this perpetual hokey-cokey, stepping in and out of form, spinning all around like a wooden shack ripped from its foundations by the gusts of a tornado. And while some issues are evidently related to lacking personnel, others must rest with Ten Hag and his inability to properly wrangle the disparate elements of the squad that he does have.

At the very least, the Dutchman should be looking to consolidate, to establish some kind of recognisable identity on which he can build if and when those Ratcliffe-endorsed acquisitions begin to roll through the door. Instead, as we saw on Thursday night, United are making a charge for continental football like a roving brood of headless chickens. From a neutral perspective, it has made for some fascinating spectacles in recent weeks, but if Ten Hag isn’t careful, people are going to start asking whether he’s lost the plot...