Forget Gareth Southgate - Man Utd's perfect Erik ten Hag replacement is staring them in the face

There's this Japanese manga series called Death Note. You may well have heard of it; in the years since its release it has spawned anime series, live-action films, video games, musicals, and has even been parodied in a Treehouse of Horror episode by The Simpsons. The basic premise of the narrative hinges on the tale of a high school student who finds a mystical notebook (the eponymous Death Note) that can kill anybody whose name is written within its pages in a matter of seconds, provided the author knows their target's true name and face.

Waking up on Wednesday morning, Gareth Southgate must have felt as if his moniker had been scribbled into the Death Note. According to ESPN, the England manager is being 'assessed' by Manchester United as they weigh up whether to sack Erik ten Hag. You suspect that given the manner in which United's last few managerial appointments have wilted and imploded, Southgate would also need to be 'assessed' by a registered psychiatric professional if he were to acquiesce to becoming the Dutchman's replacement.

Life in the dugout at Old Trafford is less a poisoned chalice, more a chemically-tainted water supply in the run-off of a poorly-maintained nuclear power plant; you might get away with sipping from it for a while, but eventually your teeth will drop out and your eyeballs will start glowing in the dark. If Ten Hag hadn't already been the baldest man alive when he took the job, he certainly would be by now anyways.

As such, whoever usurps him in Manchester will have to be an unusually resilient character, and one with a personality that looms large enough to blot out any idle criticism. It is difficult to tell whether Southgate possesses either of those qualities. Not since 2009 has the Waistcoated One been involved in the rough and tumble of club management, and while his England stint has been both illuminating and under-pinned by a thorough sense of decency, it has also been marked by repeated failures at the final hurdle and increasing accusations of tactical conservatism. Southgate, therefore, would represent a gamble for United, and one that could quite easily go awry.

He is not, however, the only name in their cursed little journal. Alongside the national boss, Brighton chief Roberto De Zerbi is also understood to be a target for the Red Devils. This, compared to Southgate's prospective appointment, feels like a wiser pursuit.

The Italian has impressed immensely during his time with Brighton and Hove Albion, and it feels like a growing inevitability that he will be prised away from the south coast by some continental heavyweight or other sooner rather than later. At the time of writing, he is being touted as an outside shout for the Liverpool job once Jurgen Klopp leaves at the end of the season, and there have been plenty of other glittering destinations mentioned besides.

You see, De Zerbi would bring with him a recognisable identity that admirably blends aesthetic value with pragmatism. His Albion side are consistently one of the most lauded in the Premier League, and the general consensus is that the only thing holding the 44-year-old back are the relative limitations of his dressing room. That's no slight on Brighton, who truly are a tremendous outfit, but they are never going to be able to compete with the likes of United in the transfer market.

There are other reasons to opt for De Zerbi over Southgate too; his recent experience of what it takes to manage a Premier League club, the presumable affordability of his contract. Really though, this is about boldness and progress.

This summer, Sir Jim Ratcliffe is expected to lead a veritable recruitment cavalry charge, reshaping United's squad in a manner that he feels is befitting of a club of their elephantine stature. Perhaps the board will eventually decide Ten Hag is the man to oversee that transformation, but if they do not, and if they choose to replace the Dutchman, then De Zerbi feels like a worthy alternative - a manager taking a big step forwards just as the club themselves do, and one who would implement a signature style capable of exciting the jaded terraces. Rest easy for now, Gareth. You might not be doomed after all.