What if Newcastle United cult hero Shola Ameobi grew up in Sunderland… and became 'The Geordie Slayer'?

When the Ameobis relocated from Lagos, Nigeria, to Newcastle upon Tyne in the mid-80s, they may never have anticipated their eldest son, Shola, would become a cult hero at St. James’ Park. Born and raised in Fenham from five years old, Shola Ameobi enjoyed a 14-year career at Newcastle United. He was hardly prolific, bagging just 79 goals in 397 games, but the striker always had a knack for the spectacular. 

Scoring against Barcelona is a feat not even the great Alan Shearer can claim to have achieved - but that is exactly what Ameobi did at the Nou Camp in 2002. But it was the now 42-year-old’s exploits against Newcastle’s bitterest rivals which earned his most renowned moniker: The Mackem Slayer.

Ameobi netted seven times against Sunderland, placing him third on the all-time list behind George Holley (13) and Toon icon Jackie Milburn (nine). Still involved at Newcastle as the club’s loan manager, there have been satirical suggestions on social media about starting him up front when the hostilities are renewed this weekend.

But what if Ameobi had been a Mackem? Imagine if, in 1986, his family relocated 10 miles south to Wearside, only for their son to be picked up by Sunderland's academy? In this alternate reality, 3AddedMinutes has rewritten the history book, attributing all of Ameobi’s derby goals to Sunderland to assess how different life could have been for both sets of supporters.

Newcastle 1-4 Sunderland - October 2005

A game best remembered for Emre Belozoglu’s stunning free-kick winner. However, it was Ameobi who bagged the opener two, having twice put Newcastle in front. The Toon striker bagged a brace of headers but, had he worn red and white that day, Sunderland would have recorded a famous 4-1 win on Tyneside, rather than lost 3-2. Emre’s memorable winner would have been reduced to a mere consolation.

Sunderland 3-0 Newcastle - October 2008

Another game, another bullet header for Ameobi against the Black Cats. Now this is a game the Magpies lost, with Sunderland ending their eight-year winless streak in the derby.

Kieran Richardson’s crushed Newcastle fans’ hearts with a free-kick winner but that would have simply been the icing on the cake of a 3-0 win had Ameobi been a Black Cat that day. A Toon side managed by Joe Kinnear were on their way to relegation that season and a resounding derby defeat would have rubbed salt into their wounds.

Newcastle 0-2 Sunderland - February 2009

In the reverse fixture, Ameobi marked his first Newcastle start since December with a penalty-kick equaliser. A flawless record from the spot saw Ameobi score all 12 of his attempts in Toon colours.

Both clubs were battling relegation in February 2009 and the forward kept his cool to slot past Marton Fulop and avoid Sunderland completing a league double. However, in our universe, Ameobi buried the penalty at the Gallowgate End for the Black Cats and sent Newcastle on their way to the Championship.

Newcastle 3-3 Sunderland - October 2010

A game so iconic for Newcastle fans that the club shop still sells copies of the entire 90 minutes on DVD! On Halloween 2010, Sunderland endured their worst nightmare as the Magpies romped to a 5-1 win. But Ameobi scored twice that day, drastically changing the fortunes in this reality. Kevin Nolan fired Newcastle into an early two-goal lead but Ameobi’s savage penalty pegs one back.

The Magpies’ target man then nets an acrobatic equaliser to level proceedings before Nolan bags his hat-trick. Darren Bent, whose real-life contribution was a mere stoppage-time consolation, finds himself as the derby hero, snatching a late draw for Sunderland.

Newcastle 0-2 Sunderland - March 2012

Ameobi’s final derby goal was a last-gasp leveller despite Sunderland being reduced to 10 men early on. The Black Cats tried in vain to thwart a Toon outfit who were chasing down the Champions League places.

In an alternate world, Sunderland not only clung on, but killed the game off at the death to boost their Premier League survival chances. Ameobi bagged his seventh and final goal for the Black Cats - earning his Geordie Slayer tag in the process.