Tottenham plot £60m defender raid as player ‘sold’ on Arsenal switch, Aston Villa eye £25m Serie A champion

How’re you holding up? Three days in, and the unending tsunami of transfer speculation is already making this summer window feel like an attempt to brush your teeth with a pebble dash gun.

Me personally, I can feel my brain chemistry altering, can detect the neural pathways diverting, so that every waking thought is subtly tinged with a gossipy, platitudinous hue. This morning, for instance, I expressed an interest in opening talks with my girlfriend over a potential swoop for a takeaway this evening. At the present moment in time, Greek is garnering plenty of attention, although in the event of that deal falling through, I am also keeping tabs on a highly-rated Indian for an undisclosed fee.

Here are today’s Premier League transfer rumours...

Tottenham consider Guehi swoop

Inflation is a wild, wild thing. Once upon a time, in the year 1851, the Victorians spent around £80,000 on the construction of an entire Crystal Palace to house The Great Exhibition. By 2012, that five-figure sum was equivalent to around £12 million. Eleven years later, and not even five times that amount would get you a Crystal Palace. In fact, it might only barely cover cost of one of their defenders.

According to Ben Jacobs, Tottenham are weighing up a bid for Selhurst Park centre-back Marc Guehi, but the Eagles could demand as much as £60 million for his services this summer. Spurs’ hopes could also be dented by the fact that the England international has three years left on his current deal in south London.

The 3AM Verdict: Guehi would be a fine signing for Tottenham, there’s little doubt about that, but at £60 million, they may well be priced out of a move for him this summer. His quality is obvious, but being held to ransom is unlikely to appeal to Daniel Levy, and unless they can bring that price down a touch, this could be a difficult deal to complete.

Rice ‘sold’ on Arsenal

Not sure if you’ve heard, but Arsenal are interested in Declan Rice this summer. You might not have, to be fair. It’s not like anybody is really talking about it...

Anyways, the Gunners may have just been handed a considerable boost in their hunt for the midfielder, with our old friend Ben Jacobs revealing that he has been told ‘Rice is still sold on Arsenal. Therefore, there remains optimism within Arsenal that they can strike a deal with West Ham United.’ Now all that remains is for the two clubs to agree on a fee. What could possibly go wrong?

The 3AM Verdict: Facetiousness aside, this is great news for Arsenal. Signing Rice would be a major statement of intent, and one that stands as testament to just how far the Gunners have come in such a short space of time. To be the most appetising prospect in a race that includes the likes of Bayern Munich and Manchester City is no mean feat, and the hope now will be that they can get this one wrapped up sooner rather than later.

Villa eye Lozano

And finally, Aston Villa look set to their villainous nickname by enacting a plot to sign Hirving ‘Chucky’ Lozano. The Mexican was christened after the murderous doll during his youth career, when he developed a fondness for hiding under his teammates’ beds and jumping out to scare them witless. What a guy.

According to Fichajes, Unai Emery’s side could look to bid around £25 million for the forward, who currently plies his trade for Serie A champions Napoli. Rumours of subsequent offers for Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees remain unfounded at this stage.

The 3AM Verdict: What a time to be an Aston Villa fan. With their team back in Europe, and with a manager as adept as Emery at the helm, the future looks exciting for the Villans. Signings of Lozano’s ilk would only cement that general buzz of optimistic anticipation, and if they can pull this one off, it has the potential to be a major coup.