Spurs’ Instagram-inspired shopping spree as Messi makes up his mind

Optimism is a powerful force, a wishful confluence of hope and confidence that has propelled many of humanity’s greatest achievements. Man would not have set foot on the moon without optimism that the countless obstacles in the way could eventually be surmounted. In much the same way, Tottenham Hotspur will never become a title-winning football team without that same blind self-belief that it can be achieved.

So it is that Daniel Levy has spent some time on Instagram reading inspirational quotes printed on the backdrop of a tropical beach, before a daily routine consisting of meditation and Goop products as he focuses on building up his chakra – or so we must assume, because a combination of carefully cultivated optimism and a fierce unwillingness to look rational facts in the face are the only plausible explanation for Spurs’ current transfer plans. And also the only plausible explanation for people buying those rather intimate crystals from Gwyneth Paltrow.

You see, apparently Spurs have decided to place no less a player than Real Madrid’s Eduardo Camavinga at the top of their shopping list. Never mind that one of the very best young players on the planet is already at a bona fide superclub, and never mind that Florentino Perez has said that they wouldn’t even sell him for €200m – according to Sport Witness, via Defensa Central – if you believe you can have Eduardo Camavinga, you can manifest it. Possibly.

Spurs have also been reading up on the wisdom of bearded Blobby-botherer Noel Edmonds, who believed that Deal Or No Deal came about because he asked the universe for it – and so, as well as Camavinga, they are requesting of the entirely cold, non-sentient and unaware universe that they get central defender Kim Min-Jae from Napoli too. Which sounds a bit more realistic on paper, until you factor in that Manchester United, Liverpool, Bayern Munich and Paris Saint-Germain are all also in the hunt. That’s according to The Mail, anyway. Optimism may have helped man land on the moon, but it probably won’t allow Spurs to persuade someone to join a club with less money and less chance of silverware.

Also in a deeply hopeful frame of mind are Aston Villa, who have set their sights on a summer swoop for Southampton’s England midfielder James Ward-Prowse. Given that Erik ten Hag has apparently said that he is “hell bent” on signing the playmaker himself – according to Football Insider – they should probably consider themselves second favourites in that particular pursuit.

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And finally it’s time for the latest word on Lionel Messi, who as we reported yesterday was booed at the weekend by PSG fans who don’t want him to leave. That in itself is, of course, less like asking the universe nicely for something than showing it the finger, calling it something obscene, and demanding to speak to its management. And consequently, ESPN are reporting that the little genius is now very unlikely indeed to extend his stay in the French capital, which is the equivalent of the universe smugly revealing that actually, it is the manager, just like in all those made-up stories on social media. Then everybody clapped.