Tottenham’s Postcode Lottery, Man Utd and Chelsea’s Spanish Inquisition, and Newcastle’s leafy exit

All the latest Premier League transfer news. Kind of.

It’s like jury duty, or a bi-annual dentist appointment; sooner or later every struggling attacker on the fringes of a squad at a top six Premier League club knows that the proverbial letter will be shoved through their proverbial letterbox, and that they too will be linked with a January move to Everton. One can only speculate as to what that feels like, but I imagine it’s a similar sensation to opening the door to the folks from the People’s Postcode Lottery, only for Jeff Brazier to beat you around the head with his novelty over-sized cheque.

Anyways, the latest unfortunate recipient of the Toffees’ admiration is Tottenham forward Lucas Moura - a man who has spoken openly of his devout Christian faith in the past, and who will have the unique opportunity of experiencing purgatory on earth should he end up at Goodison Park this month. The Daily Mail suggest that a deal could be in the offing, especially given the looming expiration of the Brazilian’s current contract in north London.

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Elsewhere, the Irish Independent report that two sides with Spanish goalkeepers are looking to replace them with... a Spanish goalkeeper. It is understood that Manchester United and Chelsea are both monitoring the situation of Brentford stopper David Raya amid ongoing uncertainties over David De Gea and Kepa Arrizabalaga, respectively.

Tottenham are also keen, but they would be bringing in Raya to dethrone a Frenchman, Hugo Lloris. Regardless of where Raya ends up, he could cost as much as £20 million - a near seven-fold return on the £3 million Brentford paid for him in 2019.

And finally, according to Football Insider, Newcastle United striker Chris Wood is close to joining Nottingham Forest. Perfect. No notes.