The inspired £155m striker transfer that could transform goal-shy Chelsea in January

Here’s something for you - were the Premier League table to be based solely on xG alone, Chelsea would be sixth. Were those expected goals then converted in the number of points they should have yielded, they would be fifth.

And yet, six games into the new campaign, as things stand, Mauricio Pochettino and his wilting Blues languish 14th, and have won just one fixture thus far - a late-August victory over newly-promoted whipping boys Luton Town.

Now, it would be a touch reductive to suggest that all of Chelsea’s problems stem from an inability to find the back of the net, but certainly it represents a persistent flaw that is not helping matters. Due to a number of injuries, summer signing Nicolas Jackson has led the line consistently throughout the early stages of this fledgling campaign, but at the time of writing, he has just one goal to his name. The Blues’ current top scorer is Raheem Sterling, and even then, he has only struck twice. September’s in-house Goal of the Month competition will be picked solely from the youth setup because the senior squad haven’t scored since their 2-1 Carabao Cup win over AFC Wimbledon on August 30th - a barren run of three outings.

In short, something has to change, and while the prospect of returns for the likes of Armando Broja and Christopher Nkunku should fill horrified onlookers with a certain amount of hope, the more likely solution - in time honoured Boehlian tradition - will almost certainly be to throw yet more money at the problem during the January transfer window.

Already Chelsea are being linked with potential acquisitions. In recent days, Ivan Toney and Ollie Watkins have emerged as two particularly intriguing names, but perhaps the Blues should be aiming a little higher with their aspirations. Massive problems require massive solutions, after all.

And so we turn to Naples, where scandal has erupted overnight. On Sunday, defending Serie A champions Napoli played Bologna. They drew 0-0. But the key juncture in the stalemate came when Gli Azzurri were awarded a penalty; talismanic striker Victor Osimhen stepped up and promptly arrowed an effort comfortably wide of the upright, much to the chagrin of himself and an entire fanbase.

In the aftermath, rather than dealing with the miss in a measured or professional manner, the club’s official TikTok account posted a video soundly mocking Osimhen. In it, a cartoonish, squeaking voice repeats the phrase ‘Gimme penalty, please’ while footage of the Nigerian plays in the background. The clip hard cuts just as the spot kick sails wide of the post. It is as unfunny as it is unnecessary.

Reacting to the bizarre post on social media, Osimhen’s representative, Roberto Calenda, wrote: ‘What happened today on Napoli’s official profile on the TikTok platform is not acceptable.

‘A video mocking Victor was first made public and then, but now belatedly, deleted. A serious fact that causes very serious damage to the player and adds to the treatment that the boy is suffering in the last period between media trials and fake news. We reserve the right to take legal action and any useful initiative to protect Victor.’

It is against this backdrop that Napoli now find themselves at the centre of a whirlwind of scorn from the broader footballing community and under threat of legal action from their best player. Obviously, nothing is written in stone, but it feels as if this could be one working relationship that is ultimately irreparable.

And if Osimhen is to leave Italy, then Chelsea should absolutely consider a swoop for his services. Over the course of 107 appearances for Napoli, the 24-year-old has scored 62 times, including 31 in 39 outings across all competitions last season that, amongst other things, catapulted the club to their first Serie A title since 1990. It is little wonder that his employers are said to value him at around £155 million.

Whether they could demand such an exorbitant fee in light of recent developments, only time will tell, but on their current trajectory, it is easy to imagine Osimhen and Napoli parting ways sooner rather than later. Undoubtedly, the striker will be in demand if and when he does depart; goalscorers of his ilk are rare, and his virtues extol themselves.

But really, there is no reason why Chelsea shouldn’t stand as good a chance as anybody of signing him. Osimhen needs an escape route, the Blues need a striker, and what’s more, they’re not afraid to spend big when they need to. (And indeed, often when they don’t need to either.) It would be ambitious, yes, but to reiterate, sometimes massive problems require massive solutions.