Man Utd set to battle for £69m midfield gem as Arsenal close in on major transfer coup

Congratulations, dear reader, you’ve been selected at random to play in the latest edition of The Rice Is Right – come on down! The rules are simple, of course, but winning is tough. We show you a series of luxury football players called Declan Rice and you have to guess how much they cost – and if you get it right, you get to take the England midfielder home with you.

The good news is that you get to go after both of the first two players – Arsenal and Manchester City. The Gunners started the bidding with a guesstimated tag of about £75m, to derisive chants of “Higher! Higher!” from the audience of West Ham board members (yes, wrong game, but all Nineties gameshows blur into one past a certain point anyway).

City then had a pop at £80m plus an extra £10m in add-ons, only to be laughed out of the room as the host churns through a series of well-worn catchphrases. Now… your turn. What do you reckon? Does £100m plus £5m in extras sound like a solid guess? Well, sorry, you won’t be taking any Europa Conference League champions back today, because West Ham are about to reject that bid as well – at least according to the BBC.

They report that the Hammers “do not believe the structure of the latest bid is right”, so it looks like we’ll have another round before anyone wins the big cash prize. Will Arsenal add the cuddly toy on top? Is anyone reading old enough to remember any of the millions of TV shows Bruce Forsythe presented? I do hope so, otherwise this won’t be my most successful piece of writing. In any case, just as I write this, word has come through that Arsenal’s big money bid has been enough for City to drop out of the race altogether, so it’s certainly achieved something.

The 3AM Verdict: It’s hard to blame West Ham for squeezing the orange dry at this point – if Arsenal will play £105m, why not ask for a few quid more? They’ll stump it up. It still remains something of a mystery as to why City wanted Rice – as good as he is, he doesn’t seem like an obvious fit for the club’s current system - but they’re out in any case. You do have to gently query whether you’re overpaying for something when it’s too rich for Abu Dhabi. Anyway, we’re probably pretty close to the end game of this particular bidding war, which will be something of a relief for all concerned. Good game, good game.

De Gea’s dodgy dealings

Another club struggling to settle on a price point are Manchester United, who have decided to apply the same logic used in the Glazers’ interminable process for selling the club to contract negotiations with David De Gea – in other words, constantly demanding new and improved terms at every turn.

This comes from The Athletic, who have the scoop that the Spanish stopper agreed new, reduced terms with the club only for United to get cold feet, refuse to sort the paperwork out, and come back with an even lower offer. Between this and the famous fax machine incident that cost him a move to Real Madrid, De Gea is understandably less than thrilled with his employers at present.

Apparently Erik ten Hag was behind the haggling, as he is less than certain about the Spaniard’s place in his plans – somewhat understandably, given his rather ropey performances last season. De Gea himself, meanwhile, has a distinct lack of alternative offers available, with the queue of clubs keen to sign him basically consisting of the four noveau riche Saudi Pro League clubs shrugging and saying “Yeah, go on, I guess”.

The 3AM Verdict: Manchester United need to make up their mind – either De Gea is in terminal decline, in which case they should let him go and chuck some money at David Raya or Diogo Costa, or he’s still a fine enough player and they should pay him. The faffing and second-guessing is not a sign of a well-organised side blessed with strong convictions or much of a plan, and should present some cause for concern all round, really. Still, the club has estimated a record profit for this season so don’t expect the owners to give much of a damn.

De Jong back on the menu in Manchester

Let’s stick with United for a moment, because they’ve decided to dish out a dose of nostalgia to equal Elton John’s set at Glastonbury – they’re back in for Frenkie de Jong, according to 90min, and the transfer rumours linking the £69m-rated Dutch playmaker with Old Trafford go together like strawberries and cream, or Wesley Sneijder and a move to Old Trafford.

Or William Carvalho and a move to Old Trafford. Or Sergej Milinkovic-Savic. Has anyone checked if these players actually exist? Has anyone seen them play, or are they figments of the imaginations of transfer columnists, handy for the occasional link with United but no more real and genuine than unicorns or Matt Le Tissier’s opinions. Anyway, United were allegedly on the brink of spending €85m last summer before issues with wages and back payments scuppered the deal, and apparently we’re going again this year.

The 3AM Verdict: De Jong has made it abundantly clear many, many times that he doesn’t want to leave the Nou Camp. Barcelona have made it equally clear that they want him to beggar off and leave a pile of money behind. The only real movement that’s taken place in the last year is that De Jong has a year less on his contract, which presumably makes him marginally less expensive, but doesn’t clear any of the other barriers away.