The Luis Rubiales affair demonstrates that men in football aren’t willing to help women

Where to even begin with Luis Rubiales’ speech today? At a press conference, ahead of which the assembled journalists had been briefed that he would be resigning, he ranted at length, refusing to resign, describing himself as the victim of “social assassination”, offered the heavily-criticised coach of the Spanish women’s team a quadrupled pay packet, and demonstrated his total lack of understanding of why his actions in forcing a kiss on Jennifer Hermoso weren’t just sexist but also represented a gross abuse of his power.

"I’m ready to be vilified to defend my ideals,” the President of the RFEF said. "Jenni was the one who lifted me up. I told her to ‘forget about the penalty’ and I said to her ‘a little peck?’ and she said ‘OK’. It was a spontaneous, mutual and consensual kiss."

Never mind that, by asking for a kiss, it was by definition not spontaneous. Never mind that, by asking for it in the first place, he was putting Hermoso in an incredibly awkward position where she had a split-second decision to either accept a kiss or refuse her boss in front of millions watching on live TV. Never mind that his claim it was “mutual” runs contrary to Hermoso’s own version of events, now expounded upon in a statement, cosigned at the time of writing by Hermoso and 52 other Spanish players, in which she plainly states “I did not consent”. Rubiales isn’t just defending himself, he’s using his position of power to attack the victim of his actions. Is that one of the “ideals” he wants to defend so vigorously?

Hermoso was filmed in the aftermath expressing her distaste for Rubiales’ actions (which he described as “a peck more than a kiss” in direct contradiction of the video seen around the world) but had her name put to a RFEF statement which seemed to mitigate the incident, describing it as a “spontaneous mutual gesture”. Spanish website Relevo has since claimed that the statement was written and disseminated without Hermoso’s knowledge or consent. The RFEF have denied Relevo’s story.

But Hermoso released a statement through her union, FUTPRO, describing the kiss as “unacceptable” and has now announced her refusal to play for the national team along with the entire Spanish national team and what amounts to every player who could reasonably be in line for a call-up. It is tragic that what should be the moment of their greatest triumph is instead clouded by a row which has perhaps become bigger than the World Cup final itself, and especially unfair on Hermoso, who asked for none of this.

Of course, this isn’t just about a kiss, the only allegation Rubiales directly referred to during today’s rant. We also have images of him grasping his crotch during the World Cup final, while sat in the same box as the Spanish Queen Letizia and her 16-year-old daughter. Since then the general director of the Futbolistas ON union, Tamara Ramos, has accused Rubiales of making obscene comments (including asking about the colour of her underwear) when they worked together at the RFEF.

Again, the RFEF denied the allegations, releasing a statement threatening legal action and questioning why Ramos would have continued to work and maintain a professional relationship with Rubiales if the allegations were true: “[Ramos] even sent him family images, congratulated him on his birthday, and even recently requested a job in the federation.”

That is an extraordinary comment to make, one which fails to grasp the fact that women who are the victims of sexual abuse, assault or the target of obscene comments are still forced to work in the same environments as the perpetrators and still need to find ways to advance their career despite everything they have had to deal with. Many women are made to believe (often correctly) that any allegations would not be believed, and that if even if they were that making them would damage their careers. This may not be the case with Ramos and Rubiales, but the situation explicitly recalls a power dynamic which has played out many times over the years, and which the RFEF appears blind to the existence and consequences of.

And, equally unaware of the potential harm caused, Rubiales has gone on the offensive, incoherently criticising “false feminism” and threatening legal action against the government while he tries to cast himself as the real victim. It is worth noting that the people making up this supposed “witch hunt” (presumably the “stupid people” and “idiots” he referred to immediately after the final) include several senior government ministers, journalists, La Liga President Javier Tebas, FIFPRO and top-tier clubs Osasuna, Real Sociedad and Getafe, each of which has called for him to go. Real Madrid later voiced their support for legal proceedings against Rubiales as well. His critics, and those demanding his resignation or punishment, form a broad church.

But Rubiales has his supporters, too. The coach of the victorious women’s national team, Jorge Vilda, applauded during Rubiales’ speech as he was offered a contract extension with a €500,000 salary, nearly four times what he earns now. There had been rumours in the Spanish press that he would resign too given his almost total lack of support among the players, 15 of whom went on strike last year accusing him of inappropriate and controlling behaviour. Also applauding in person was Luis de la Fuente, the manager of the men’s national team.

And here we see why Gianni Infantino’s comments before the World Cup final that “with men… you will find open doors” were so misguided and so galling for many.

“You have the power to convince us men what we have to do,” the President of FIFA had said. Except now women, including Hermoso, her team-mates, and several female government ministers have told Rubiales and the RFEF what they have to do, and not only been ignored but verbally assaulted, shamed, threatened with legal action and had all of the mudslinging applauded by other men who stand in the same circles of power. Rubiales and the RFEF have proven Infantino completely wrong within days of his own speech of absurdities.

And it’s noticeable that very few male players and coaches have stood up for Hermoso or weighed in. A few, like David de Gea, Hector Bellerin and Iker Casillas have expressed their disbelief or disgust at Rubiales’ actions, but at the time of writing only one professional player has made a substantive stand – Real Betis forward Borja Iglesias, who has announced that he will not play for Spain again until “things change and such actions don’t go unpunished”. A great deal of credit must go to Borja for the only truly valuable act of allyship on record so far within the men’s game.

Most male players have remained silent or pointedly refused to offer an opinion when asked, such as Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta and former national coach Luis Enrique, who felt that while saying his opinion was not needed he should still praise the “fantastic job” Rubiales had done as head of the federation. And it’s instructive to compare and contrast the reaction with the dozens of professionals who posted comments on social media supporting Benjamin Mendy after he was found not guilty on multiple counts of rape and sexual assault. It’s extraordinary how few doors men seem to open when women’s rights and freedoms are on the line, but how wide those doors become when another man is accused of grotesque acts of violence against women. Self-defence is more important to a great many men.

And now Rubiales has needlessly extended this latest affair. The Spanish sports council has begun the process of sending official complaints against him to the Spanish Administrative Court, and legal proceedings are likely to follow. Rubiales will either be forced to resign, be suspended and eventually fired, or will double the size of the fallout by attempting to remain in post. And whatever happens, he will have proven that far too often, men in power are unwilling or unable to grasp the positions they put young women into and the damage they can cause; and will prove that men tend to put barricades up against women rather than opening any doors whatsoever.

This article was updated following the statement made by Jennifer Hermoso and other members of the Spanish women’s national team.