West Ham can put their midfield headaches to bed with this inspired £43m signing

How does one plug a black hole? An unfeeling, ravenous vacuum that threatens to suck anything and everything in to its insatiable nothingness? The answer, of course, is that you can’t, that the gravitational stresses at play crush and stretch and dismember in a process that scientists, with their knack for making even the most desperate fate sound quite fun, call ‘spaghettification’.

In short, to even consider corking a black hole, you would have to be either insanely ambitious or maniacally naive. On the surface, with the latest speculation suggesting that they are aiming to replace departed captain Declan Rice with Bayern Munich midfielder Leon Goretzka, West Ham appear to be both. And yet, unlike bunging a collapsed supernova with some dispensable celestial entity or other, this might just work.

The situation, as it stands, is thus; last week, after months of speculation, Arsenal signed Rice from West Ham for a British record fee, understood to be worth around £105 million in total. The England international’s exit not only strips the Hammers of their talismanic captain, but also deprives of them of a hugely influential presence at the epicentre of their team - the fulcrum on which their entire operation has hinged for the longest while.

Now, Irons manager David Moyes - that poor, poor man - must find himself a suitable replacement before September 1st or risk enduring an entire season being spooked by every unexpected clatter from the shadowy recesses of the doldrums. It’s like if Tom Cruise released an episode of the Mission: Impossible franchise based solely on a weekly task from The Apprentice.

Enter, seemingly out of nowhere, Sky Germany, who report that Moyes and his boys are keeping tabs on Goretzka’s precarious employment status in Bavaria. As per transfer guru Florian Plettenberg, a kind of ‘vorsprung durch technik’ Fabrizio Romano: ‘Leon Goretzka is definitely a candidate whose situation is being watched very closely by the English, because they have also noticed that Goretzka is allowed to leave Bayern.

‘Bayern is currently considering a transfer fee of 40 to 50 million euros. [That’s between 34 and 43 Great British Pounds, to you or I.] Tuchel would definitely let him go because Tuchel wants to create space in the squad. Tuchel would like to sign a player who, in his perception, has the profile of Rice.’ Again, all roads lead to Declan.

The decision to oust Goretzka is one that feels staggering until you contemplate the broader context. For one thing, his unquestioned standing as a first choice starter has been severely dented since Tuchel’s arrival at Säbener Straße. For another, his recent injury record has been less than stellar.

Then there is Bayern’s prestige. They are one of a privileged few in world football who rarely miss out on their most-desired transfer targets. If they are serious about luring somebody to Munich, they more often than not succeed in their venture. As such, there is no need to cling to players who are merely deemed adequate. If Tuchel has grown tired of Goretzka, then why wouldn’t he acquiesce to his sale and simply buy somebody better, shinier, more novel?

None of that is to say that Goretzka is a bad player, or a spent force, however. At 28, he is still very much in his sweet, ambrosial prime, and with 53 Germany caps, five Bundesliga titles, and a Champions League to his name, there aren’t many of his contemporaries who can claim to boast a better footballing pedigree. As a box-to-box midfielder, he remains synonymous with some of the very best on the planet, and it speaks volumes that alongside West Ham, the likes of Manchester United are frequently touted among his suitors.

It would appear that Gortezka is fully aware of his worth too. Plettenberg suggests that in an ideal world, the player would like to stay with Bayern this summer, although whether or not that stance can withstand the open rejection of his manager and a swell of competition in the centre of the park, only time will tell.

And that’s why, assuming their interest is genuine, West Ham should continue to push ahead with a pursuit of the German. It is rare that a player of his obvious talent is so nonchalantly tossed into the great yard sale of the transfer market, rarer still that it happens at a time when the Hammers just so happen to have a cool £100 million singeing a hole in their back pocket. Hell, at £43 million, why not get two of him?

Replacing Declan Rice is not going to be an easy task; he was so integral to so many of the positive traits that Moyes’ West Ham side embodied in recent seasons, and he will be missed. But the best way of softening the blow that comes when a world class player departs is to immediately bring in a world class alternative. The Hammers have the motive and the financial means to do just that.

Perhaps it is a deal tinged with a touch of blind ambition, perhaps it is underscored by the delightful rush of naivety, but if West Ham can pull it off, they might just find a way of plugging their very own midfield black hole.