Aston Villa’s Love Island bombshell, Man Utd’s £60m Wish David Beckham, and Chelsea’s novelty birthday candle

Right, deep breath. Firstly, are you okay? It feels very strange indeed sitting here without Premier League football. And I imagine that you might have been feeling a lot like I have - shaken, troubled, let down, worried for the wellbeing of your weekend plans this summer, and full of questions.

Thankfully, this morning - or whenever you are stumbling across this - we are here to distract with a barrage of transfer rumours that you could read elsewhere, but that you’d have to go out of your way to collate yourself if you did. Think of this column like a bindle, the handkerchief at the end of a stick that keeps all the odds and ends of the day’s gossip tightly packed together as we go tramping into the daunting wilderness of a football-less expanse.

And hey, at least it’s only 44 days until you can wreck your sleep schedule by staying up every night to watch the Women’s World Cup in Australia and New Zealand. Insomniacs, your time is nigh!

Villa in for Youri

Love Island started last night. Again. Such is the current frequency with which the show occupies our screens, it actually feels like more of an event when it’s not on. Soon an entire third of the population will be signed to a brand ambassador deal with Pretty Little Thing.

Anyways, in-keeping with the spirit of the day, Unai Emery wants a spanking new Belgian bombshell to enter the Villa as soon as humanly possible. Recently single - as of Leicester City announcing the expiration of his contract last night - Youri Tielemans is available on a free transfer this summer, and the Villans are understood to be the latest club to have expressed an interest in signing him, as per the Daily Mail.

The 3AM Verdict: This is exactly the kind of deal that Villa need to be wrapping up if they are to cement their place as European qualification contenders next season. Tielemans would bring quality in abundance, and it would represent a notable coup to steal him away from under the noses of the traditional big six.

United eye Maddison

Speaking of Leicester City departures, Manchester United are understood to be keen on snapping up James Maddison - a man who exudes a certain, ‘David Beckham ordered from Wish’ vibe. The England international is highly likely to leave the Foxes this summer following their relegation, and the Red Devils are said to have joined the likes of Newcastle United and Tottenham Hotspur in the race for his signature.

That’s according to the Telegraph, who claim that the playmaker could be valued anywhere in the region of £45-60 million. It was recently reported by The Athletic that Arsenal are also monitoring his situation at the King Power.

The 3AM Verdict: Whoever gets Maddison this summer is signing a wonderful player, there are no two ways about it. To have made 19 goal contributions in 30 Premier League matches for a team as dire as Leicester have been is no mean feat, and at 26, he is in the prime of his career. There’s no reason why he wouldn’t be a fine addition for the Red Devils.

Chelsea back in for Caicedo

And finally, like a serial arsonist who has fallen off the wagon for the umpteenth time, Chelsea are said to have reignited their interest in Moises Caicedo. The Blues have blown hot and cold on the Brighton man more times than one of those novelty trick birthday candles that refuses to extinguish, and after a deal for Manuel Ugarte fell through, it would appear that they have sent the footballing equivalent of a 3am ‘You up? xxx’ text to the Ecuadorian’s agent.

And to be fair, Caicedo is up. In fact, he’s positively wide awake, sat rocking back and forth by the front door just waiting for somebody to come a-knockin’ and set him free from the south coast. As per the Daily Mail, however, Albion will hold out for around £80 million before granting his exit this summer. Chelsea’s plan - get this - is to offer less than that, but to throw in the odd Stamford Bridge pariah as a sweetener. Cunning.

The 3AM Verdict:The transfer saga surrounding Caicedo is likely to be one of the biggest headline stealers of the summer. The South American has been heavily in demand for quite some time, and if Chelsea were to win the race for his signature, they would be signing a player of immense quality and potential to properly kick off the Mauricio Pochettino era.