Liverpool’s armchair scouts do the business, Chelsea open talks with Haaland 2.0, Leeds take it to the Max

Move over Ferrari, Maccarinelli, and, erm, *googles*, Nini(?) - there’s a new Enzo in these here parts. Or at least, there might be. According to reports from Record in Portugal, Liverpool have reached a pre-contract agreement to sign Argentina midfielder Enzo Fernandez in a deal that, should it actually come to fruition, would represent the biggest coup on Merseyside since the M&S Bank Arena was awarded Eurovision.

As somebody who believes vehemently in doing the bare minimum at all times, it’s always nice to see Premier League scouts use the World Cup as a kind of armchair cheat sheet for their craft. Why bother jetting out to Lisbon to watch Benfica on a Wednesday night when you could instead get cosy under an electric blank in your own living room with a packet of Hobnobs and a decent brew? It’s admirable bone idleness.

In fairness, Fernandez, still only 21, is such an obvious star that you can see his merits even through the shrapnel crumbs of a biscuit-induced coma. Hell, you could probably send Stevie Wonder out to compile a report on the midfielder and he’d reach the same conclusion. For our money though, the real standout of this Argentina side is a promising young upstart by the name of ‘Lionel Messi’ - perhaps somebody should be keeping an eye on his progress. 3AM, always one step ahead.

Elsewhere, Marca claim that Arsenal have emerged as favourites to sign Atletico Madrid forward Joao Felix ahead of Paris Saint-Germain, Manchester United, and Aston Villa. One of these suitors is not like the others. The 23-year-old has lost his mojo (mojoao?) a little over in Spain, and has been widely linked with a big money exit in the winter window.

Given that his alternatives are fist-bumping a monkey’s paw at Old Trafford, going into hiding in the City of Love, or adopting the wobbly mantle of Philippe Coutinho’s spiritual heir apparent in the Midlands, it’s not hard to see why North London might be his most likely destination.

Across the capital, Chelsea are said to have opened talks to sign Germany striker Youssoufa Moukoko on a free transfer from Borussia Dortmund in July. Think Erling Haaland with an added dash of ‘Vorsprung durch Technik’ and you’re partway there, so that should be fun.

And finally, Footall Insider suggest that Leeds United are weighing up a January move for PSV Eindhoven’s left-back Philipp Max. Reports of similar deals involving his brothers, Mad and Pepsi, are as yet unfounded.