Liverpool’s magic number, Newcastle’s typical magpie behaviour, and Man Utd’s £50m Trojan Horse

According to Bob Dorough, De La Soul, and Blind Melon (a cursed Spotify Wrapped if ever there was one) three is a magic number. Those who get their mobile network from the Hong Kong-based provider, and who didn’t get yesterday’s emergency alert test from the government, might beg to differ, of course. This time it was just a silly little Sunday afternoon oddity to talk about on Twitter. Next time it could be an incoming nuclear warhead, or a plague of locusts, or Godzilla’s British cousin. Kevin Bacon would never let you down like this.

Anyways, like I was saying, three is a magic number. Yes it is. And Liverpool are hoping and praying that a trio of midfield signings could be enough to transfigure their ailing fortunes into something that will flip Jurgen Klopp’s pearlescent gnashers from ‘grimace’ to ‘grin’ mode. Brighton’s Alexis Mac Allister, Chelsea’s Mason Mount, and Bayern Munich’s Ryan Gravenberch are all on the Reds’ radar - whether they like it or not - and according to Fabrizio Romano, they are but a mere stitch in the vast tapestry of the club’s summer transfer ambitions. Well actually, what he said was, ‘There are many midfield targets being discussed’, but that’s a bit boring.

Regardless, Liverpool fans can now rest easy in the knowledge that the Anfield chiefs are working hard on a midfield revamp. Whether that eventually ends up involving a new five-year contract for James Milner and a series of shifty, apologetic glances, only time will tell.

The 3 Added Minutes verdict: Liverpool need midfield reinforcements, that much is achingly clear. Given that their recent transfer policy has been generally marked by a singular marquee signing per window, a triple swoop for this magnitude would respresent a notable (and expensive) departure from the accepted way of doing things at Anfield. A quick mention for Trent Alexander-Arnold too, whose recent displays in the centre of the park might just suggest that the Reds actually need one midfielder fewer than they initially thought.

Elsewhere, Newcastle United - fresh from battering Tottenham’s hopes, dreams, and dignity into a handbasket of crumb-like smithereens - have come over all frugal and savvy. They say the rich don’t get rich by spending their money, and the Magpies - true to their nickname - are keen to hoard their wealth just a little longer. Cut-price deals for prospective relegation candidates James Ward-Prowse and Harvey Barnes are said to be in the offing, according to Football Insider, while the aforementioned Mount, whose contract situation at Stamford Bridge has been up in the air longer than Charles Lindbergh, is also attracting attention.

In fairness to Newcastle’s owners, the club’s progress this season has far outstripped even the most optimistic of forecasts, and after dragging themselves to the brink of the Champions League with a squad that largely floundered under Steve Bruce, they’re probably wondering if they have to fork out as much sweet, sweet cashola as they initially expected. Hell, if the Magpies continue to progress at their current rate of knots, it won’t be long before their only genuine rivals in English football are Just Stop Oil protestors.

The 3 Added Minutes verdict:The signings of Nick Pope and Dan Burn have proven that a policy of signing English players with decent Premier League experience can be just as effective as spending big on relatively unknown entities from further afield. Ward-Prowse, Barnes, and Mount would all bring an abundance of quality with them to Tyneside, and if they could be snapped up on the relative cheap, even better.

And finally, legend states that on this day in 1184 BC, the Greeks entered the city of Troy by hiding inside the wooden innards of the now infamous Trojan Horse. Admittedly, that’s not super relevant to anything, but you can (fittingly) bet that if there was one man who would have been checking the form guide and researching the trainer’s history ahead of a potential flutter on the pine stallion, it’s Ivan Toney.

The Brentford striker remains a target for Manchester United, as per Football Insider, but the Red Devils are said to be unsure over whether to table a bid for the talismanic forward while an ongoing investigation over his gambling habits plays out in the background.

The 3 Added Minutes verdict: United need a striker, and Toney has done more than enough to suggest that he deserves a big money move. That being said, there is little point in spending £50 million or so on a player who could be careering towards a lengthy playing ban for off-field offences. Perhaps the Red Devils are prudent to let this one play out a little before making any kind of concrete decision.