Qatari cultural differences should be respected - until they start to harm people

When it comes to imposing culture on unwilling recipients, nobody does it quite like the English. It’s why about a third of the world drives on the left, and why Zimbabwe and Pakistan reignited a rancorous feud over a Mr. Bean impersonator at last month’s men’s T20 Cricket World Cup. Seriously, if you haven’t heard about this already, look it up.

Some people are prouder of England’s problematic, meddlesome past than others. Although, interestingly, there seems to be a direct correlation between those who lionise colonialism and those who are terrified of the cultural effects of moden day immigration. It’s remarkable what a potent cocktail of stupidity and exceptionalism can do for one’s powers of self-awareness. Oftentimes, that pride can deceive us microbes on our festering Petri dish of an island that ours is the only correct and proper way to exist. Why do things differently when you can do them miserably, amirite?!

And that brings us on to the Qatar World Cup, a tournament so steeped in gloom that Gary Lineker will probably end up presenting the BBC’s coverage of the final in nightvision goggles. The past fortnight has been like if Edgar Allan Poe had written Bend It Like Beckham. Or in this case, Excuse It Like Beckham. Try as they might - and boy, have they tried - FIFA’s attempts to blinker us, like funeral procession horses, into staring phlegmatically at the pretty shapes and colours of the football itself have been somewhat in vain.

Debate simmers over the cultural fissures that have rendered this World Cup unapologetically monstrous. Many have been appalled by Qatar’s treatment of migrant workers and members of the LGBTQ community alike. Both demographics are endangered daily at the behest of the petrostate’s gluttonous ruling class. Others have been affronted by a lack of alcohol and an insistence on public decency. But these indignations, it hopefully goes without saying, are not created equal.

Here’s a nifty little rule of thumb; we are absolutely right to respect Qatari culture, up until the exact point at which it begins to threaten somebody’s very existence. Take, for example, renowned England fan Paul ‘Tango’ Gregory; a hulking, tattooed, shaven-headed Sheffield Wednesday fanatic who was asked by local security forces to put his shirt back on during the Three Lions’ cakewalk against Senegal on Sunday night.

And that’s fine, because aside from some mild embarrassment and a smattering of social media virality, no harm came to Tango. (Reports that it took two officers to convince him are completely unfounded.) But, hypothetically, had a supporter been singled out arbitrarily on the faintest suspicion that they might be homosexual, and perhaps detained for the simple crime of drawing breath - as was allegedly happening in Qatar as recently as September - then that is where the line of cultural tolerance must be etched.

Nobody with an inkling of decency would suggest that Qatar as a nation should forego its societal practices on frivolous things like affordable pints and topless bald men to appease the gaze of the Western world. If you genuinely believe that sort of thing is a human right, I don’t know what to tell you. Get yourself down the Bigg Market in Newcastle on any given Saturday and you’ll satiate your craving in twenty minutes, max.

But wherever you are in the world, whether it be Qatar, or England, or any other number of regions where LGBTQ+ people face discrimination and workers are mercilessly exploited, it is important to recognise that there are some things, like equality and compassion, that transcend the oppressions of manufactured norms.