Aston Villa rival Man Utd in £40m shock striker swoop as Milan eye up some blue steel

As football fans, we tend to think that we’ve pretty much got the transfer window down to a fine art. Not a day passes without some deeply dramatic and seemingly absurd story, the summer is chocked to the brim with bizarre buys and shock departures, and every inch of the whole obscene farrago is run over with a fine toothcomb by the press. Including us, to be honest.

But then you stay up a little late to watch the first day of the NFL draft and you come to understand that we have nothing on the Americans. This year we had pre-draft rumours of a player dropping down draft boards because he had a wildly embarrassing cognitive test score ‘leaked’, only for him to be taken second overall. And another poor soul - who was the odds-on favourite to go second - fail to get drafted by anyone, all while a live stream of his face was broadcast to millions as team after team passed him over. As if that wasn’t bad enough for him, reports surfaced that he has a phobia of milk. Let’s be honest, ongoing concerns with dairy products have never made it to British newsstands, and we could probably learn a thing or two about it from our transatlantic friends’ showmanship and love of wild drama.

Anyway, we don’t open the transfer window with a soulful rendition of the national anthem while a man in a giant bear costume solemnly salutes the flag – another thing that happened last night – and frankly, we should. But we don’t, so let’s take a quick look over some of today’s most titillating tidbits of transfer reporting instead.

Toney, to you

First up, an intriguing piece of wild speculation from Football Insider, who think Aston Villa have decided to celebrate their recent surge up the table by entering the race for Ivan Toney. The Brentford striker, who is believed to have a price tag in the region of £40m, has already been linked with the likes of Manchester United and Newcastle, so competition will be justifiably fierce.

It’s also fair to assume that any deals for Toney will be kept chilling in the ice bucket until the outcome of the disciplinary process relating to his gambling charges is known – although it’s fair to say that “off-field issues” never stopped anyone from signing a player they fancied over in the NFL. Anyway, we still don’t know when we’ll get some clarity over whether he’ll face a ban or not, but Villa are apparently doing their due diligence anyway. Just in case.

The 3AM Verdict: Even setting the possibility of a length suspension aside, this move doesn’t make a ton of sense for Aston Villa, unless Unai Emery wants to institute a change of system. They’ve been going great guns with one man up top, and Ollie Watkins has been on such superb form that it’s hard to imagine Villa looking for an upgrade in the immediate future – and it’s equally tough to imagine Toney wanting to move to play in a rotation system. We’re pretty sceptical about this one.

Tuchel for school

Over in Germany, former Chelsea head coach Thomas Tuchel has had a pretty rough start to his tenure at Bayern Munich – knocked out of the Champions League and the DFB Pokal, and their spot at the top of the Bundesliga standings surrendered to Borussia Dortmund. But Tuchel has plans to raid his former club for a crucial new signing, and has his sights set on a shock signing as well…

Let’s start with the entirely believable rumour, courtesy of Sport1, that Bayern want to get their hands on Chelsea’s Mateo Kovačić. The combative Croatian is one of the players most likely to leave Stamford Bridge as they attempt to balance the books and winnow down the squad, and could easily be tempted by a move to Munich and the opportunity to link up with his former manager. Less believably, Kicker reckon that Tuchel has also put Manchester United’s key man Casemiro on his shopping list for the summer – who knows, perhaps the Brazilian has always had a thing for lederhosen, or has an extensive collection of oompah records.

The 3AM Verdict: Lazy stereotypes aside - life in Germany involves much less leather than you might believe, although they really do love a beer - simple common sense dictates that Casemiro to Bayern Munich is wildly improbable, given how important the former Real Madrid man has been to Erik ten Hag’s side this season. We’re writing that one off as the equivalent of Will Levis – the previously mentioned dairy-fearing quarter-back – being one of the top picks of the NFL draft. In other words, rubbish. Kovačić, on the other hand, we believe, especially with Ryan Gravenberch likely on the way out. Chelsea need rid, Bayern need a midfielder to create competition with Joshua Kimmich and Leon Goretzka. A smart signing all round.

Milan go for the London look

Further word from the continent focuses on AC Milan’s reported interest in two London-based players as they try to cement their regained status as one of Italy’s top teams. The ever-fashionable Lombardians have seen Ruben Loftus-Cheek strutting his stuff on the Chelsea catwalk, and fancy a little bit of blue steel. 90min don’t mention a price, but do have the versatile England international making the move.

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Football Italia, meanwhile, report that the Milanese are also keeping tabs on Arsenal’s Reiss Nelson, who could be available on a free transfer if the Gunners can’t convince him to sign a new contract. With Gabriel Martinelli and Bukayo Saka all but unstoppable this season, it’s not exactly tough to imagine the wideman being keen on a trade.

The 3AM Verdict: On a personal note, the author of this piece once endured a thoroughly miserable weekend in Milan when it rained endlessly, his shoe sprang a leak, and it proved far harder to find good food than anywhere else in Italy. This would be enough reason for us to decide against signing for the reigning Italian champions, but probably won’t stop either Loftus-Cheek or Nelson. At least the cathedral is impressive. Anyway, both players would be interesting and relatively budget-friendly options for Milan, and both of them need a move away to get the regular first-team football they deserve, and thanks to players like Fikayo Tomori and Chris Smalling, English players are somewhat à la mode over in Italy, so these reports seem eminently plausible.